We have been a bit poorly of late, hence the lack of blog posts. At least that’s what Nadine said I should say as a good excuse for us not managing to get something written. I do actually have a cold or have just recovered. I don’t think it was a cold though. I was positive it was Malaria. I had all the symptoms. OK, I also had a runny nose, and was sneezing and coughing up phlegm, but who’s to say there isn’t a common cold variety of Malaria. It might have been overlooked. I could have been the first fatality.

Oh my God! the pimple’s gone malarial!

At this juncture I should point out that the above is merely a fiendishly clever photo-montage. Rest assured readers I remain a devilishly handsome wag of unblemished dashing good looks. Below will I believe, shed light on my clever dupe.

Yes. As I’m sure you all guessed, a ‘balungi’ or grapefruit! About the size of your average devilishly handsome head and tastes devilishly delicious too. A bit like a sweet  grapefruit. While Nadine opted for the ‘hack your way through it with a knife’ option I went for the more visceral ‘get your head stuck in there and start chomping’ method.

It was Nadine’s birthday a couple of weeks ago. And I remembered. So, what do you get the girl of your dreams in a country that has bugger all. Well . . . 

. . . bag of half melted Cadbury’s Chocolate Eclairs, a bag of Haribu Fruit Gums and a loaf of home made bread with real butter on it of course!

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Go on, you know you want to. Best one wins a carrier bag.